The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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