Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize