Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
