it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
