I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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