Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
