It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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