I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
then he tried to convert me to islam
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
