We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
