Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
