Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
