Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
