Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
