you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
