you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
