I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
