do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
