Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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