Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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