i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
