i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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