she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
