new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
