Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
