why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
