im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
