just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
