Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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