Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
