You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
