How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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