Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
