Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Quick, to the slutcave!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize