i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
