she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
