are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
