he wants to bone in the snuggie
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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