Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
