so explain again why im purple
no
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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