I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
