The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
