If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I could fuck to npr.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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