Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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