I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
