He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
my liver is dry heaving
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
