I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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