the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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