im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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