who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
