I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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