I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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