i already hear my dad disowning me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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