can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
