Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
