ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
