Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
