and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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