So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
