she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize