i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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