So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't deserve a penis
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize