she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
